Even if it feels like the process of dissolving your marriage is endless, the day will come when your divorce is finalized. This is a major milestone, and on some days, it will feel like that chapter is closed. On other days, you may find it challenging to adapt to your new life, and that’s perfectly understandable. No two divorces are exactly the same, and neither are post-divorce lives. You may find you need extra emotional support while you heal your broken heart, or you may feel empowered and ready to take the world by storm. For the first time in a long time, you may feel like yourself, but it’s also possible to find yourself wondering who you really are and perceive a need to start from scratch. You may experience all or none of those feelings—as we said, each divorce is unique.
We all need a good support system in life, especially when overcoming difficulties. Even if you’re happy about getting divorced, challenges will arise. It’s vital to have a trusted team of friends, family members, and professionals that can help you navigate your new reality and deal with any lingering negative feelings.
These are a few of the key players you may want on your team.
There is no shame in going to therapy. Let’s say that again—there is no shame in going to therapy. If you feel the need to talk to someone in confidence about feelings you can’t quite sort out, if you’re struggling with mental health issues, or if you simply want an objective input from a third party while making numerous important decisions, then you may want to start working with a therapist. You don’t have to go every week for the rest of your life, but finding someone you can trust and work well with now will provide you with a great recurring resource when you need a helping hand while adjusting to your post-divorce reality or handling anything going on in your life.
In the first few years after a divorce, managing your money and doing your taxes can be tricky, so consider hiring a CPA (Certified Public Accountant). They can help you get some financial peace of mind as you navigate potential changes in your income, expenses, taxes, and support payments.
If you have children, they may need help understanding their feelings after a divorce, especially if their lives change significantly as a result of it. Ex-spouses who don’t agree on certain parenting issues or struggle to get along in front of their kids may find that reaching out to a family counselor can help them work together better.
Many religious organizations offer spiritual guidance or counseling to their members. You could consider connecting with a spiritual leader who can provide you with comfort and guidance during a difficult time in your life.
You deserve your glow up moment—from the inside out. Endorphins make you happy, so load up on them! When it comes to working out, you shouldn’t be competing with your ex because that won’t make you happy. What will make you happy is feeling good. Science has our back on this one. Regular exercise can help you sleep better, lower stress, and boost your overall mood. And yes, you may find you like the way your body looks when you’re at the top of your fitness game, but that’s just a fringe benefit. If you’re new to working out, consider hiring a personal trainer who can help you come up with a fitness routine that works well for your body and lifestyle. Most importantly, they’ll show you how to be safe and avoid injuries.
What’s your beauty thing? Bouncy hair? A perfect manicure? A flawless spray tan? Embrace what makes you feel your best and invest in finding the right person to supply you with that immediate confidence boost or recurring act of self-care.
Need help getting back out there? You might not be ready to start dating again, and that’s okay, but when you are ready, it can be fun and enlightening to work with a dating coach. Find someone you mesh with and who can help you take the lessons you learned during your marriage and successfully apply them to new relationships. It may be a while since you’ve played the dating game, so a refresher course with an expert might give you a confidence boost before you officially put yourself back on the market.
We created the Your Divorce Guidebook: One Step at a Time to help you navigate the many tricky areas of a divorce and what comes after. Knowledge is power and you deserve to have all of the power.